Today I had the pleasure of visiting Ann Taylor LOFT in Chandler Fashion Square, while my significant other had to do gift returns.
(Here is a hint for everyone: it is a very bad idea to give and ask for clothing during holiday season, unless you can be as explicit as possible, like I wanted these Kuhl Hi-Low Cord Pants in 36x32" size and steel color from REI for US$60, which I got.)
As a guy at a woman's clothing store, the only thing I can do to kill time is to take photos of ridiculous looking over-priced clothing, and mock them here.
The Donkey Kong, extra useless pieces of fabric sewn on are homage to classic video game, where a large gorilla throws wooden barrels down the ramps.
The Neck Tumor, to create an illusion that goiter can be beautiful too, with right amount of fabric ball.
For the office and other business occasions.
The Crystal Meth, the best way to hide your drug evidence is in plain sight.
The Cinnabon, show your love for the stable food court snack at any American shopping mall, and hide your overgrown belly underneath it.
The Salmon, "take me down to the river, put me back in the water..."