Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Inked Disappointment

It seems the trend of reality television shows will be around for a while. All networks have their own niche in the reality television market, including A&E. The first time I saw or even heard about Inked on A&E was from the tattoo circles. Ever since the show premiered on July 20th, I have watched every single episode, sometimes multiple times because I have my TV on when I work.

Since not everyone has the luxury of TiVo in their homes, I would like to narrate a recent episode of the show for you:

Christina wants tattoo, actually airbrushed onto her prosthetic leg.

Thomas accepts the job and gave estimated time of two days.

The air compressor is busted because Thomas forgot to refill it with oil.

Instead of looking for replacement (or while waiting for replacement), Thomas decides to take this $100,000 Hyundai show car out to drive in the rain and kill some time.

Thomas, watch out for that curb!

Of course, he wrecks the car and ripped the front wheel off. Nice going, Thomas “Andretti”.

Meanwhile Thomas is off camera to tell his business partner about the loss, here is Jesse:

“Hi, I am Jesse. Girls think I am creepy, and I would have never gotten laid if weren’t for my tattoos. Oh I work in the shop too. I do tattooing so I can get closer to chicks and if I am lucky I would see their tits and asses.”

What a big surprise.

Warehouse gets robbed. You would think they would have better security system to guard the place, but no…

To lighten up the mood, here is a lovely pseudo lesbians’ couple. Ms. Cleavage wants an Asian symbol for “happiness”. Are you fucking kidding me, you “walking silicone bags”?! Asian symbol?! It is a Chinese character for “happiness”. FYI, there are more than two countries in Asia.

Jesse is secretly masturbating in his pants while doing tattoo on Ms. Cleavage.

Finally Thomas sits down to do some work that he promised almost two months ago.

The Pick Up. (Christina does not look too pleased)

Thomas has the balls to say this to Christina: “leave it for another six months until it gets done…” It took him almost two months to paint one Virgin Mary, one spider web, and dagger in the heart. I am surprised that she did not smash him with the prosthetic leg for being such irresponsible A-hole that he was. Thomas, there are two things you need to learn: ethics and responsibility.

I am sorry to say this but I am not impressed at all.


  1. I've been watching the show too, and it's TLC counterpart Miami Ink. These aren't typical 'reality' shows, like Survivor, those are fake and tripe, I can't stand those. Shows like Inked and Miami Ink are more voyeuristic than made up crap they call 'reality'. I would take shows like Inked and Holmes on Homes (a Canadian home improvement show) over Survivor and Fear Factor anytime.
    Thus ends my rant.

  2. I hope she has a spare leg.

  3. This is totally fake. There is no such thing as a $100,000 Hyundai. Those POS cars new cost about the price of a prosthetic leg...

  4. i love your breakdown!! so funny.

    oh, and she did have a spare leg.

  5. Those shows crack me up - people get the most idiotic tattoos, and they spend forever explaining the "meaning" behind each tattoo. My favorite to date is the woman on (Miami Ink) who wanted a tattoo that would remind here of her dead fiancee "every time she saw it." What did she get? A multi-colored gecko on the small of her back! Bwahahahaa.

    I'm sure there are intelligent, thoughtful people somewhere getting tattooed, but they aren't showing up on these shows. It's strictly the mentally challenged on these two shows.

  6. About a year ago, I started really gettin into the tattoo scene and then this show pops up! I'm not a huge TV watcher, but I never miss an episode of Inked!
    This is good's fun!
    Oh, and Jesse....take it from a chic....we dig you!

  7. Jesus. Jesse knows girls are hot for him.

  8. To anonymous who wrote, "There is no such thing as a $100,000 Hyundai." Of course, there's no stock Hyundai that costs anywhere near that much. It's obvious that someobdy put a lot of money into customizing that car (note the paint job). Maybe not $80,000 (or whatever the difference between the cost of a new, stock Tiburon and $100,000 is), though.

    Speaking of customizing a Hyundai, I've seen a Tiburon in my neighborhood that had all of its Hyundai badges replaced with the badges of a fictitious Italian marque -- "Toscani," if I remember correctly. :rolleyes:

    Tian, here's something you could blog about: "Hyundai" is properly
    pronounced "HYOON-die" (or is it "hyoon-DIE"?), not "HUN-day." Naturally, the pronunciation was altered for the U.S. market.

    What did the warehouse break-in have to do with anything?

  9. Greg...There's nothing fictitious about TUSCANI. The car is referred to by a few different names in various parts of the world.

    Tiburon: in N/S america, Australia, new zealand
    Coupe: in europe
    Tuscani: in Korea and the 04 05 06 special edition 6 speed in Canada
    in 03 it was Tiburon GS-R

  10. How could they give this asshole a show????? i OWNED and tattooed at 4 shops that never acted or worked like that. We had three month bookings at all times because we did good work and treated customers with dignity. Just cause you want a tattoo doesnt make you a dumb slut or a creepy guy - although these two fit the bill alright.