Aleksey Vayner's Resume

videos: veoh & wmv

At first, I thought this video was a parody of some sort, but it is not.

This video is part of Yale student Aleksey Vayner’s resume he sent out to potential employers. Since then, it has been circulating among firms of Wall Street financial sector as well as on various websites as a laughing stock.

The almost seven minutes long video showed Vayner weight lifting, playing tennis, ballroom dancing, and smashes several stacked bricks, while he speaks in monotone about “If you're going to work, work. If you're going to train, train. If you're going to dance, then dance, but do it with passion.”

In his 11-page long written resume, he also claimed to the CEO of his own investment firm (then why did he need employment elsewhere?), has knowledge of Chinese medicine, published a book about the Holocaust titled “Women’s Silent Tears”, one of four people qualified to handle nuclear waste in Connecticut, has been previously employed by both the CIA and mafia, and last but not the least, he gave tennis lessons to Harrison Ford.

Of course, idiots like Vayner would never expect employers to do background checks.

All his claims were false. He even plagiarized his own mission statement from another firm.

(more)

Are you REALLY interested in Diskeeper?

Several weeks ago I downloaded a copy of Diskeeper from their website and gave it a try. Ever since then, I have been getting emails from Diskeeper’s sales person.


www.diskeeper.com

At first I thought, “Wow, how nice of them. They actually care about their customers.”

A few days later, I ran into a problem. Diskeeper was not running and gave me the message of “diskeeper can not initialize”. I called their tech support after went through all the methods in their knowledge base.

They did not have any idea about how to fix it.

Eventually I figured it out myself. Due to a software glitch either in Microsoft Windows XP or Diskeeper, the Windows’ Page File size was set to zero instead of a correct value.

Last Friday, I got another pestering email from Diskeeper’s sales person. I assumed this person was having a bad day when the second sentence in his email was:

“To tell you the truth when I look at the data you left on the Download I don't feel that your particularly interested in Diskeeper for purchase but it is my job to contact you and make sure that the product performed to you satisfaction.”

Here is my reply (I have blackened out his contact information in the pdf file, since he apologized in second email):

Dear Diskeeper Sales Person,

Thank you for all your emails.

Frankly, I am quite annoyed with the way you have been pestering me regarding the demo copy or copies of Diskeeper software I have downloaded. I understand it is part of your job to keep a close contact with potential clients, especially after we have downloaded demo copies of your software. But, when someone does not reply to your inquires, most likely there are three reasons:

1. We are no longer interested in your product. Perhaps your competitors have offered us better deals, or we have found other solutions.

2. We are busy with other projects, replying to your inquire has the lowest priority on our to-do list. If we get really annoyed, a quick "no" reply would only take few seconds.

3. Getting bombarded with "I am just checking in" emails have made your sales-pitch seem desperate, thus forces us to delay our decisions until further evaluation.

When I filled in my contact information in Diskeeper's download page, I did it as professional courtesy. However I did not expect pestering emails like the ones you have sent. They almost sounded like a dumped ex-girlfriend/boyfriend seeking reunification. Clearly we can see who did the actual "dumping".

I am certain that you are a much better sales person than I could ever be, but I thought I would share some tips with you:

1. Don't ever pin the customer into a corner. In sales, when the customer is pinned between making a decision of buying or not buying, unnecessary pressure would push the customer to choose No. The golden rule of sales – The person who has money still in his pocket has the absolute power.

2. Offer alternatives from competitors. This concept may sound dumb, but in practice it is very effective. Since Diskeeper is not the only software out there that does disk defragmentation, in the emails you sent out, you should include information on your competitors' products. Show the customer the weak points and strong points between your product and others. When in doubt, think Progressive, the auto
insurance company.

3. Don't abuse the potential customer contact information. Having a place for customers to filling their contact information is a good way to monitor and collect sales data, but it is a double-edged sword. People communicate with each other fast and often. Many successful businesses are based on the principle of "Word-of-Mouth" advertising. In today's digital age, it is "Word-of-Email" or "Word-of-Blog". Any thing negative or positive about company or product will be public within minutes.

I think I have said enough, or more than what you wanted to hear.

Before I end this, I would like to reply to your original questions. Diskeeper is a good product. There was one instance where I could not run it due to a "diskeeper can not be initialized" error. I have contacted Diskeeper's tech support, but I did not get prompt response. After search on the web, I discovered there is a glitch in either Diskeeper or Microsoft Windows 2000/XP, where the Page File size has changed to zero.

Sincerely,


Tian

Ninja or Pirate

I took this photo at a local coffee shop on Sept. 19, 2006.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Related: Ninja Loves Pirate

I want to be a teacher, not!

I have two close friends who are teachers at two local public schools. One is teaching 8th graders, and the other is teaching high school. Often I would catch glimpse of their work lives through some the stories they share with me.

Both of them have several special-education students in their classrooms as part of an American education program called “Inclusion”. The idea behind “Inclusion” was that if special-education students are integrated into regular classrooms, maybe they will not feel so out of place, other kids would get to know them better, thus less harassment. Keep in mind, some of these special-education students are accompanied with an adult tutor (or keeper) at all times.

That idea looked great on paper, but in practice, it is a freaking disaster.

One of the most infamous stories is one special-education student attending at a local high school has to walk around with both of his hands raised above his head. It looks like he is surrendering on a battle field during WWII, while his keeper follows him around.

The reason for that is because if his hands were not elevated, he would then slip them into his pants and masturbates continuously.

My other friend who teaches 8th graders showed me some of the apology letters she has collected from last year. Although English is not my native language and I have always thought my English grammar is terrible, yet I am amazed by how poorly educated these 8th graders are.

One kid can't even spell words like "whole", "again", "disrespect", "throw", "kicked" correctly.

The Video About Fake Video iPod

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Everytime I hear some news hype about Apple's latest product, I am reminded of this video. It was released to the internet earlier this year by a clever prankster showing how he has fooled all major news sources.

New Al Qaeda Recruitment Method

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What would happen if the Islamic terrorist organization, Al Qaeda, would recruit for its new members in the same fashion as the Mormons?

Chaser's Report on Religious Shows

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I am tired of staying up until the wee hours of the morning, hoping to catch a glimpse of good old Jesus-praising on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, yet disappointed by greedy televangelists and their money begging tactics. Sometimes, they simply do not make any sense what so ever.

Apparently, I am not the only one that has felt this way. Chas and Julian have also noticed this odd trend.