Fireworks at Gallup, NM

It has been five years since I last drove to Gallup, NM to purchase fireworks. The Latvian and I left Phoenix, Arizona bright and early to make this 10-hour round trip pilgrimage to New Mexico. It was during the same trip five years ago that inspired me to start HanziSmatter.com.

We stopped in Bubba's Fireworks stand, which is a giant tent located in a dirt lot just north of King Dragon Chinese Buffet on Highway 491.

What is interesting about fireworks is that all of them are made in China. Even the patriotic American tanks in Stars and Stripes:



And World War III may start right here on the folding tables between China and US:





Some of the packaging are just mundane, like this Widow Maker:



Excalibur:



and National Treasure:



some are humorous and sliding towards the offensive side:


Can You Handle It? shows a large Black woman with her hair in curlers jumping out of a burning building while three firemen with looks of horror on their faces trying to catch her.


One Bad Mother-in-Law illustrates the harmonious family of a stereotypical White trailer trash.


500 Gram exploits urban blacks on low-rider bicycles displaying their assault rifles. The front man appears to have strong resemblance of Easy-E from N.W.A., Niggaz With Attitude.


Hustler, Warning: shoots flaming balls. Get it? Flaming balls.

My personal favorites are fireworks shaped to be beer mugs and bottles to entice idiots to hold them in hands:





and same time the warning labels tells them not to:



And little suicide packs from boys and girls:




What Boys are Made of, with matching What Girls Want:



Even Britney Spears is endorsing them:



Nothing says Perfect Silence than after you have blown your ear drums:

HOWTO: Optimize The Daily Show Embedded Videos

One thing I am annoyed about The Daily Show embedded video option is its restriction on video's size.

For example, Boing Boing recently posted about Jason Jones visiting the New York Times on their site using the default HTML code supplied by The Daily Show/Comedy Central.



The width of Boing Boing's main column is set to 500 pixels, however the video does not fully utilize this space, rather it leaves a rectangular void.



The problem is caused by the video's default width & height setting within its HTML code, which is set at 360x301 pixels.

Also, most of the HTML code supplied is irrelevant and has nothing do to with video's function.



To optimize this, only HTML code needed is within the embed tags.



By changing the values in width & height fields, video is able to fulfill maximum column width.



In this case, the video's size increased to 400x335 pixels from its original 360x301 pixels:

Mullet at Last Chance

Last Chance is a dump store specializing in selling rejected merchandise from high-end retailers at much lower prices.

Of course with lowered prices, the clientele's fashion sense is also lowered.

Geese Trapping at Chaparral Park

I volunteered yesterday (as well as last week at McCormick Ranch) to help Arizona Game and Fish Department and City of Scottsdale to trap Canada Geese at Chaparral Park.



This is part of urban avian study sponsored by State of Arizona including Arizona State University, Game & Fish Department, and City of Scottsdale. By learning about the movements and population growth of the urban geese, park staff will be able to determine the most effective way to manage their presence in Scottsdale parks. These geese were first trapped, neckbands and ankle bracelets with serial numbers attached, then released.

First we lured geese into traps (which I personally helped to build) with bread like what Mike Rabe of Game & Fish Dept. is doing here.



then volunteers would push them into one of the traps placed on grassy area



Once a group of geese are inside the trap, four panels are secured with plastic zip-ties. Each panel barricade is made from two pieces of 10 ft long 1/2" diameter electric conduits bent into 6.5 x 4 ft rectangular frame with fishing net lashed in between.



Some of the geese stayed on Chaparral Lake's island needed some encouragement from volunteers in kayaks.



Once the geese have been round-up, the banding process is fairly fast.



First, determine the goose's sex by squeezing its butt ("Is that a goose in your lap or are you just happy to see me?")



Second, attach neckband, ankle bracelet, and record tracking information,




Then let them go,



Some domestic geese were at a wrong place at a wrong time and they were released without any tags.



No animals were harmed during this and previous trapping.


Photo album links:
Geese round up at Chaparral Park (Flickr & Picasa)
Geese round up at McCormick Ranch (Flickr & Picasa)

He went to Jared and got disappointed

Dear Jared, The Gallera of Jewelry,

My first visit to your store yesterday, May 10th 2009, at Casa Paloma Shopping Center in Chandler, AZ was absolutely disappointing.

I arrived at the store about 1:30pm with an ESQ watch that needed battery replacement. Although the store is practically empty (5 customers including myself), the sales representative did not want to replace the battery then. Instead he wanted me to leave the watch for two days or go else where.

And elsewhere I went.

Keep in mind; this is not the first watch I owned. In the past, I have observed repairmen replaced watch batteries within minutes, certainly not "two days"!

My recent experience lead me to think this particular sales representative did not care about his action and how it would affect Jared's reputation either, therefore why is he still employed?

I would suggest an addendum to your over-hyped jiggle of "he went to Jared":

"and got disappointed".

Sincerely,


Tian


Update: May 14, 2009 -

Watch case wrench = $7.50 (including shipping from Micro-tools)



Type 371 battery = $4.31 (including tax at local Walgreens)



Never have to deal with Jared, The Galleria of Jewelry = PRICELESS!

----------

from: jaredcr@jewels.com
to: tiangotlost@gmail.com
date: Mon, May 11, 2009 at 9:51 AM
subjectRe: RQST00002019411 ; Jared.com - Contact Customer Relations

Thank you for visiting our Jared Galleria of Jewelry web site. Your message has been received and will be forwarded to our Customer Relations Representatives for response. We look forward to assisting you with your request.

You can simply reply to this Email, and your reply will automatically be associated with this request, RQST00002019411.

Sincerely,

Jared Galleria of Jewelry
Customer Relations

----------

from: jaredcr@jewels.com
to: tiangotlost@gmail.com
date: Mon, May 11, 2009 at 3:52 PM
subjectRe: RQST00002019411

Your customer service representative is: Elizabeth Whitehair
Summary: WATCH BATTERY

Dear Tian,

I would like to thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding your need for a battery replacement. Our goal is to exceed our customers' expectations, and I appreciate the opportunity to respond when there is a concern.

A copy of your complaint will be forwarded on to the Store Management as well as the District Manager for this particular location. I apologize for the inconvenience that you experienced and hope that you will allow us to provide you the service you deserve in the future.

If there is anything else I can do for you, please feel free to contact me via email.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Whitehair
Customer Relations

As Advertised at Target

New and exciting savings at Target for this week only!

Save $0.09 on IAMS adult cat food, regular priced at $14.09!

Come on, Target!

We would expect this kind of shit from Wal-Mart. $0.09 off from $14.09 is not even 1% saving. Why do you even bother to waste money by price out ads and shelf labels?

Chop Fooey

Mental Floss magazine, May-June 2009 issue, Page 19

This really makes me want to find out where Pu Pu Platter comes from and what is that "pow" in Kung Pow Chicken...